Breastfeeding, Pumping, and Everything In Between: A New Mom’s Feeding Adventure
Every parent’s feeding journey is different. Some come easily, while others hit a lot of roadblocks. Some carry a lot of guilt, while others are absolutely confident how everything played out. My experience was tricky. I felt no guilt about it all, yet I still wish things had gone differently. Let’s get into the specifics of my time breastfeeding and exclusive pumping.
How It Began
After a 50 hour failed induction, my son, Henry, was born via C-Section weighing 9lbs 6oz. I mention this because at our first doctor’s visit home, the doctor was concerned about him losing weight. I didn’t know at the time, but I think I have now figured out a few things that could have resulted in this.
- This is pretty common. A lot of the time, there’s nothing to worry about when it’s brought up so soon.
- Because of my long induction, I got a lot of extra fluids, which meant that he got a lot of extra fluids. Likely resulting in his birth weight being higher than it might have been otherwise. Which logistically means that he probably just lost a lot of the extra fluid weight.
- My milk hadn’t quite come in yet. For most moms, milk can come in between day 2-4, all of which are normal.
So the doctor sent us home with the task of pumping to see if my milk had come in yet. And after some panic texting to my friend who recommended my pump, and some quick youtube tutorials, I tried out my pump for the first time. My baby was three days old. Lo and behold, I got a lot of milk. Like 4 oz. (check out that photo from my first ever pumping session!).
From then I pumped and also nursed some. Honestly, it’s been almost three years and I don’t remember what percentage I did both. I just know that almost every time he nursed, he seemed hungry afterwards, even after seeing a lactation consultant. Soon enough, the stress of both nursing and pumping wasn’t worth it to me. So I quickly nursed less and pumped more. I also really liked knowing how much he was eating at every feeding. We soon got on a good routine with his milk.
That said, pumping was a lot of work. It takes time, effort to put it into your daily routine, and a willingness to continue. It was very tricky when he needed something, or was hungry right when it was time for me to pump. Mostly immediately after I had began. There’s the added stress of washing bottles and pump parts, trying to figure out if you should warm the milk up or not, learning all of the guidelines to keep the milk safe, and so much more.
Where Things Started Getting Tricky
At my 6 week appointment with my OB, a large oversight on her part resulted in a really tough rest of my breastfeeding journey. She let me get back on my old hormonal birth control pill, without prescribing me “The Mini Pill,” which is a progestin-only pill. It’s the one prescribed to breastfeeding moms, as it does not contain estrogen, and will not diminish your milk supply.
Within the day, I noticed a difference in my supply. I spent the day trying to figure out why, and that was the only thing that had been different about my day. It took until two days to finally get ahold of the office to see if that could be the problem. I only took it for two days, but by then my supply was impacted.
I went from having an oversupply, to having to build back up enough just to try and feed my baby. It was so stressful, and honestly, I’m still to this day so mad this happened to me.
Paying Attention to My Mental Health
By the time he was three months old, I knew I couldn’t continue being the only food source for my son. It was impacting my mental health in a big way. I always went into breastfeeding with a “whatever works best for us” mentality, and now was the time to do just that.
Unfortunately, when I was in the “planning to add formula” stage, I was met with pushback from some important people in my life. If I was totally ready and on board for formula, why were others having such a hard time with my decision? I guess I figured moms were the ones who had the hardest time mentally when it came to formula, based on my conversations with others and based on social media. I felt blindsided having to convince others of my decision. It was a lot on top of everything else.
Combo Feeding and Stopping Pumping
At first we added 1 ounce of formula to 3 ounces of breastmilk. Then over time, another ounce to one bottle a day, then more, and more. By 9 months I think he was getting 2 full bottles of formula and 3 bottles of half formula, half breastmilk. I knew my time pumping was coming to an end.
Even though I didn’t have any negative feelings or guilt about giving him formula, I still felt a sense of sadness and defeat about the thought of no longer pumping. I’m not sure if it was societal pressure for moms to give breast milk for a full year, or knowing my breastfeeding journey should have been easier. Either way, I had bigger feelings about it than I expected. Which is totally normal.
Celebrating the End
I decided I wanted to find ways to celebrate what I accomplished. Here’s what I did:
First, I ordered custom cookies from my friend Michelle at Sugar and Spice by Mrs. Rice. They were beautiful and so tasty! I highly recommend her cookies, and simply getting yourself something tangible to celebrate your hard work. She even included an image of my actual pump! I love these cookies so much.
I also spent a few weeks filming myself for those last pumps and turned it into a reel. Seeing myself hold up what I made and the entire ending story is so special. I even look at it now.
I combined those last few pumps and made one final full breastmilk bottle for Henry. This was just a silly thing that I chose to do for myself. I’m not sure why I thought to do this, or if I even knew then, but it made me happy as we closed the chapter.
After Pumping
Knowing it was coming to an end made it so much easier once it was over. I had a date in mind. Exactly 11 months after my first pump. I just like whole numbers and clean breaks like that. Honestly, it was so freeing to be done. I felt lighter. Less stressed. Less sad.
I loved having more time with Henry. I loved not having to think about when I last pumped, or packing everything up when I knew I’d be out too long. It was amazing. Honestly, how great I felt made me realize I should’ve stopped sooner.
Final Thoughts
I don’t regret pumping. If ever I have another child, I’ll probably plan to exclusively pump. It was hard, yes, but it had so many positives for me.
No matter how you feed your baby, it comes with challenges and benefits. Nursing. Pumping. Combo feeding. Formula. Do what is right for you and your baby and your family. That will always be the best decision.
Try not to focus too much on what others are doing when it comes to feeding their baby. Or what they think about what you’re doing. Which is a lot easier said than done, but it will be so beneficial.
Pay attention to yourself. Your feelings are valid. Your stress levels are valid. If it’s time to start weaning earlier than you had initially hoped, be proud of what you accomplished. And be even more proud for listening to yourself and your needs. That is so hard to do, and is so important.
You and your baby will bond no matter how you feed them.
And to all my exclusive pumpers out there who feel like you don’t belong to the Breastfeeding crowd, I’ll leave you with my favorite phrase: Pumping is Breastfeeding, it’s just not nursing.
You’re a great mom, no matter how you’re feeding your baby.
My Breastfeeding and Exclusive Pumping Story
Hey! I’m Stephanie! Thank you so much for stopping by! I’m a Richmond, Virginia light and bright photographer specializing in Family Newborn Sessions and Birth Photography. I hope you found my Breastfeeding and Pumping Story helpful. If you’re ready to talk with me more about your own outdoor session, reach out here! Not quite ready, but want to keep me on your short list? Feel free to check out more of my newborn work here, and connect with me on Instagram! Either way, I can’t wait to connect with you!
